Is Refusing to Ask for Help Holding You Back?

“You can do anything, but not everything.” — David Allen

Last week I led an amazing group of women through my 5-Day Self-Love Jumpstart program.

And it was powerful.

A theme that came up repeatedly was the need for more self-compassion, to not beat ourselves up over every little mistake...to be O.K. with not being perfect.

To accept ourselves for being human...flaws and all.

And part of this process is the acceptance that you can't do or be ALL the things ALL the time.

You won't always be full of energy, positivity and motivation.

And that's ok.

Especially if you are prepared for those moments, both in your mindset and in your strategy.

And this is something we spent a good amount of time discussing during our live Q+A sessions...what to do when you just aren't "feeling it".

So, what should you do when you are having a hard time taking action towards your goals?

1 - Revisit your "Why".

Dig deep. Why is this goal meaningful to you? What does your future look like if you don't take action versus if you do?

Tapping into the emotion of this may help you re-engage with this goal OR it may reveal that it's actually something you don't care that much about (and that there is something else MORE meaningful to you right now).

2 - Ask for help.

Whoever sold you the idea that change is always easy peasy lemon squeezy and that you should just be able to will yourself through anything was...not telling you the truth.

Sometimes it won't be easy...but it can be easier IF you ask for help when you need it.

👉 It doesn't matter if you "already know what you need to do".

👉 Or if you "should be able to do this on your own".

👉 Or if you've "done it before without any problems".

You aren't doing in NOW and that's all that matters.

So...should you keep fighting that reality while at the same time NOT making any progress? Or should you ask for the help you need so that you can move forward with less resistance?

🤔🤔🤔

You see, lately I've been working...a lot.

And because of this my exercise routine started to suffer.

I was finding it hard to honor my time boundaries. To choose a workout instead of a work task.

I'd tell myself, "I'll workout in the evening instead".

But then the evening came and my energy was shot.

So then I'd say, "OK. Tomorrow I will definitely do it."

And then I'd book in a call, or get stuck in a task that took longer than anticipated.

This went on for about 2 weeks, until I:

• Accepted the reality of my situation. I wasn't exercising as much as I prefer to and I wasn't honoring my time boundaries.

• Let go of the "shoulds". Telling myself that I "should" be able to hold myself more accountable wasn't doing anything to change the situation (and was probably making me feel worse about it in the end).

• Let go of the "but I know...." I'm a health coach. I'm a trainer. Obviously I KNOW what to do. That doesn't change the fact that I wasn't doing it.

• Asked for help. With ZERO shame, I hired a coach to help me get back on track.

And you know what, it feels pretty awesome.

It feels awesome to have support, to take some pressure off myself, and to actually DO the thing that I was struggling to do on my own.

It also feels good to know that I won't need this support FOREVER but that I can count on myself to ask for it again in the future if I need to.

👉 Where are you struggling?

And how much of that struggle is being caused by your resistance to accept the reality of your situation?

What would happen if you let go of all the "shoulds"?

If you stopped expecting yourself to be able to do EVERYTHING by yourself?

And instead just asked for the help you need?

Pssst...here's a hint...it will probably feel awesome.