"The challenge is not to be perfect—it is to be whole." — Jane Fonda

Years ago, I had a roommate who loved ice cream.

But every time he wanted to eat a pint, he’d lace up his running shoes and head out for a 5-mile run first.

Not because he loved running.

But because, in his words, “I have to earn it.”

And this isn’t that different from what I see so many women doing with their food and exercise habits.

Whether it’s:

• Running extra miles to “burn off” dessert

• Skipping meals to “make up for” an indulgent night out

• Forcing yourself into a workout you hate because you had “too much” bread

It’s the same pattern:

Earning the “bad” food. Undoing the “bad” choice.

On the surface, it looks like discipline.

But underneath, it’s just rigid, all-or-nothing thinking in disguise.

Consider this scenario...

Let’s say you bake cookies with your niece and enjoy one (okay, maybe two) while you’re laughing together in the kitchen.

Or you grab a burger with your best friend you haven’t seen in months, and you both savor every bite while catching up.

Here’s what often happens next:

You head home and think, “I was bad today.”

You start googling “how many calories in 2 cookies” or plan to “make up for it” with a smaller dinner, an extra workout, or skipping breakfast tomorrow.

That’s the earn/undo trap.

And you’ve probably noticed where it leads...

When you treat food and exercise like a bank account, crediting “good” choices and debiting “bad” ones, you:

• Put morality on food (which creates guilt and shame)

• Ignore the other aspects of health a choice might support (social, emotional, relational)

• Get stuck in a cycle that almost always ends in burnout and rebound weight gain

Here’s the alternative:

You enjoy the cookies or the burger fully, recognizing that while they may not have done much for your physical health, they helped nourish your social and emotional health.

Then, instead of asking, “How do I undo this?”

You ask, “What can I add today to support the parts of my health I’ve been neglecting?”

That might look like a balanced dinner with protein and veggies.

Or going for a walk in the evening.

Or getting to bed 30 minutes earlier tonight so you wake up refreshed.

When you choose to add support instead of undo damage, you:

✅ Stop turning food into a moral test you can pass or fail

✅ Build trust with yourself (no more swinging between guilt and rebellion)

✅ Create a more balanced approach that supports all areas of your health

And the more often you choose this response over the earn/undo one, the easier healthy habits feel.

Because they’re not about punishment or perfection, they’re about caring for yourself in a way that’s actually sustainable.

I'd love to hear from you...

What are you going to ADD today to support the parts of your health that need to the most attention?

Reply in the comments and let me know!