Why Your Brain Resists Every Health Goal (And What to Do Instead)
You know what nobody tells you about New Year's resolutions?
The reason most of them fail by February isn't because you lack willpower or discipline.
It's because of how you're thinking about the change itself.
Here's what I mean...
When most women think about "getting healthy," their brain immediately goes to a list of things they need to eliminate, restrict, or give up.
No more wine with dinner.
No more lazy Sunday mornings.
No more comfort food after a brutal day of back-to-back meetings.
Your entire focus becomes what you're losing.
And here's the thing,
Your brain is wired to resist loss.
That's not a character flaw. It's basic biology.
When you frame health changes as deprivation, you're essentially asking your brain to get excited about having less.
And your brain? It's not interested.
But what if you flipped it?
What if getting healthy wasn't about what you're removing and giving up, but about what you're adding and gaining?
Now, I know you've been told to "focus on the positive" before, and it probably felt like toxic positivity BS that didn't actually help when you were elbow-deep in a bag of chips at 9 PM.
This is different.
This isn't about pretending the hard parts don't exist or slapping a gratitude journal on top of real struggles.
This is about getting honest - really honest - about the complete picture of change.
Most smart, successful women like you make decisions in every other area of your life by weighing all the factors.
You consider the trade-offs. You look at the full cost-benefit analysis.
But when it comes to health changes? You skip that step entirely.
You either:
Jump in with all-or-nothing thinking (and burn out fast)
Focus only on what you'll lose (and never start)
Get so overwhelmed by conflicting information that you freeze
None of those approaches give you the clarity you need to make a decision that actually sticks.
Here's what does work:
Getting crystal clear on BOTH sides of the equation.
And not just the downsides of staying the same (which you're probably very familiar with - the self-criticism, the discomfort in your body, the shame spiral after another "failed" attempt).
But also:
The pros of staying the same (yes, there are some - and acknowledging them is crucial)
The cons of changing (because there ARE trade-offs, and pretending there aren't sets you up for failure)
And most importantly - the GAINS from changing that go way beyond a number on a scale
When you can see the full picture, you stop operating from guilt, shame, or "should."
You start making decisions from a place of clarity and self-awareness.
And that's when change actually becomes sustainable.
This is exactly what we're going to explore in Friday's live session inside the Messy Practice - The Two Things Every Goal Needs to Succeed (spoiler: neither one is more willpower).
But before we get there, I want you to do some groundwork.
I've created a worksheet called "Exploring the Pros & Cons of Change" that will walk you through this exact process.
It's not your typical pros and cons list.
This worksheet helps you think through:
What you're actually gaining (not just losing) by making a change
The hidden benefits of staying where you are (the ones you don't want to admit)
How important this change really is to you right now
How confident you feel about making it happen
What support you'll need
Set aside 10-15 minutes for this. Be honest. Write down the uncomfortable truths.
Because here's what I know about you:
You're smart enough to solve complex problems at work. You're capable enough to handle a million responsibilities. You're strong enough to show up for everyone else.
You can absolutely figure out how to feel good in your body...
But not by white-knuckling your way through another restrictive plan that asks you to give up everything you enjoy,
By getting clear on what you actually want to add to your life, and what you're truly ready to gain.
P.S. Our second Resolution Runway session is this Friday 12/12 at 1pm Eastern. We're diving into the two non-negotiables for making resolutions stick: the WILL (your emotional connection to your why) and the WAY (the right support and skills).
If you haven't joined The Messy Practice yet (it's free!), you can do that HERE. Come with your completed worksheet - we'll be building on it.
