What You’re Really Saying When You Say ‘I Feel Fat’
"When awareness is brought to an emotion, power is brought to your life." — Tara Meyer Robson
The other day I was talking with a friend, and she made a comment that she was "feeling fat" that day.
Maybe you've had a "fat day" before, too?
The phrase "I feel fat" is so normalized in our culture that we rarely stop to question it.
While it might not be used with cruel intent, it reflects underlying fatphobia and a lack of awareness about how our words affect others, and ourselves (a discussion for another day).
But aside from being insensitive and prejudicial, there’s something else you should know:
👉 Research shows that feeling fat actually has nothing to do with having fat.
So, if it’s not about body size or shape,
What do we really mean when we say, "I feel fat"?
The phrase "I feel fat" has become a stand-in for self-criticism or emotional discomfort.
When we use it, we’re perpetuating unfair and damaging stereotypes about living in a larger body while simultaneouslydistracting and deflecting from the real issues at hand.
Why is this a problem?
If you tell yourself the problem is your body, you’ll likely turn to weight loss or body change as the solution.
But what if the issue isn’t body-related at all?
What if the issue is depression, a lack of purpose, loneliness, or just a bit of bloating?
Losing 10lbs probably won't fix those things.
So, instead of saying, "I feel fat", it’s time to ask yourself:
👉 What am I ACTUALLY feeling?
Is it an unpleasant emotion? An uncomfortable physical sensation? Or maybe a combination of the two?
All of us can benefit from identifying what we’re truly feeling.
Because once you have an accurate picture of what’s really going on, you can process and respond to it appropriately,
Rather than lumping all negative sensations into “fat” and using weight loss as a blanket solution.
In my Empowered Eating Blueprint program, we use a variety of tools to improve your ability to recognize and label your feelings.
Here are two you can start practicing today:
1️⃣ Expand Your Emotional Vocabulary
There’s a phrase in the therapy world: “You’ve got to name it to tame it.”
When we don’t know how to identify and communicate what we’re feeling, we can’t give ourselves what we need in the moment.
To change your experience, you must first acknowledge and understand the experience you’re having.
Here’s an Emotions Wheel to help you start labeling your emotions:
Notice that "fat" is nowhere to be found on the emotion wheel. 🤔
2️⃣ Increase your Somatic Awareness
Somatic awareness is the ability to recognize and describe physical sensations in the body.
This mindfulness practice helps connect the dots between what we feel emotionally and how our body reacts physically.
Try incorporating practices like:
Body scan meditations
Mindful yoga
Progressive muscle relaxation
These methods can help you better tune into the sensations in your body and understand how they relate to your emotions.
The next time you notice yourself thinking or saying, “I feel fat,” try this instead:
Replace the word “fat” with an actual emotion (anxious, angry, lazy, lonely) or physical sensation (bloated, tired, heavy).
Ask yourself: What do I really need right now?
Spoiler alert: It’s probably not “to lose 10 pounds.” 🤷♀️
Ready to take this work deeper?
If you want help learning how to identify your true feelings and give yourself what you really need, let’s talk.
Click here to book a call and see if my Empowered Eating Blueprint program is the right fit for you.
