What to Focus on Before You Try Another Diet

I’ve noticed a pattern over the years working with women, and once you see it, you can’t unsee it.

A lot of women don’t think about changing their body when things are going well.

They think about it when things aren’t.

When life is a bit messy or chaotic.

When something feels off.

When there’s stress, uncertainty, or a sense that something is missing.

That’s when the thought pops up:

“I need to get back on track.”

“I need to clean up my eating.”

“I need to get serious about my workouts.”

And it feels logical.

Because when something in your life feels out of control, your body can feel like the one thing you can control.

So it becomes the first domino.

The thing you try to fix first…even when it’s not actually the problem.

The thing you think will start the chain reaction for other change in your life.

The thing you think that if you just changed THAT, everything else would fall into place.

But here’s what I want you to consider:

What if your body isn’t actually the first domino?

Before you answer that, let me tell you a quick story.

Years ago, when I was working as a trainer in New York City, another trainer stopped me one morning and said,

“You look really good. What have you been doing differently?”

And it completely caught me off guard.

Because for the first time in a long time, I wasn’t actively trying to change my body.

I wasn’t dieting.

I wasn’t focused on losing weight.

I wasn’t following a new workout program.

So I didn’t really know how to answer her.

My first thought was, “I got a dog.”

Which sounds like a random answer, but it was true.

I was walking more.

Spending more time outside.

Going to the dog park instead of sitting on the couch at night.

But when I thought about it more, it wasn’t really just the dog.

At that point in my life:

I felt good about my work.

I was in a healthy relationship.

I was spending my free time in ways that actually filled me up.

I was volunteering.

I was connected to my community.

I had more joy and more support in my life.

Yes, I was still exercising.

Yes, I was still cooking healthy meals.

But those things had always been there (for at least the last 10 years).

What changed…was everything else in my life.

And that’s when it really clicked for me:

The body wasn’t the first domino.

It was the result of other things in my life becoming more aligned.

Which is why I want you to get really honest with yourself about this:

When you think about changing your body…

What else tends to be going on in your life at the same time?

What feels off?

What feels out of your control?

What feels like it’s missing?

Because most of the time, the desire to change your body isn’t just about your body.

It’s about trying to create a change somewhere else.

More confidence.

More control.

More happiness.

More stability.

More fulfillment.

But the truth is,

Changing your body doesn’t guarantee any of those other things will change along with it.

The only way those things change…is by working on those things.

Which means your body might not be the first domino.

Your relationship with yourself might be.

How you spend your time might be.

Your environment might be.

Your support system might be.

Your values, and how closely your life aligns with them, might be.

And yes, sometimes changing your eating or exercise habits is part of that.

But it’s rarely the starting point that creates everything else.

So here’s what I want you to reflect on:

If your body isn’t the first domino…

What is?

What actually needs your attention right now?

Once you identify the real first domino, everything else starts to make a lot more sense.