What to Do When Negative Thoughts Get in the Way of Your Health Goals

I love taking Yin Yoga classes on the Peloton app, particularly with the instructor Denis Morton.

And there's a phrase he uses all the time:

“I make suggestions. You make decisions.”

It’s basically his yoga catchphrase.

He’ll suggest an adjustment to make. A prop to use. A way to go deeper into a pose.

But ultimately, I decide what I do with that suggestion.

Maybe that position feels great today.

Maybe my body is telling me, “Absolutely not.”

Maybe I modify it.

Maybe I skip it entirely.

He makes suggestions. I make decisions.

And the more I’ve heard him say this over the years, the more I’ve realized how useful that phrase is outside of yoga.

Because your brain makes suggestions too.

ALL. DAY. LONG.

“You’re too tired to work out.”

“Just start again Monday.”

“She’s probably annoyed with you.”

“You look terrible in that picture.”

“You should definitely replay that awkward conversation from three days ago another 14 times.”

And we have a tendency to give those suggestions a LOT of authority.

Our brain says:

“She’s probably annoyed with me.”

And instead of recognizing that as simply a suggestion our brain has offered for why our friend hasn’t texted us back...

We start responding as though it’s a fact.

Our brain says:

“You’re too tired to work out.”

And suddenly that suggestion starts sounding an awful lot like a command:

“You’re too tired to work out, so don’t.”

But just like the dynamic between Denis and me,

YOUR BRAIN makes suggestions, and YOU make decisions.

That doesn’t mean you should automatically dismiss what your brain is telling you.

Sometimes its suggestions are useful.

Sometimes they deserve your consideration.

Sometimes your brain is pointing out something important that you need to pay attention to.

But sometimes?

Its suggestions are based on an old belief.

A fear.

An assumption.

Or absolutely nothing.

Sometimes your brain is just throwing some garbage at the wall to see what sticks.

The skill isn’t learning how to stop your brain from making suggestions.

(Good luck with that.)

It’s learning how to create a little bit of space between the suggestion your brain makes and what you decide to do with it.

Because a suggestion isn’t a command.

If your brain suggests:

“You’re too tired to work out.”

Okay.

Thanks for the suggestion.

But is that actually true?

Does my body need rest today?

Am I really too tired to do ANYTHING?

Or do I just not feel like getting off the couch because it's comfortable?

If your brain suggests:

“You look terrible in that picture.”

Okay.

Thanks for sharing.

But is this a verifiable FACT? Or simply an opinion? (and a biased one at that)

Do I need to spend the next 20 minutes looking at old pictures and beating myself up for “letting myself go”?

Does this one thought mean I suddenly need a plan to lose weight ASAP?

Nope.

And if your brain suggests:

“She’s probably annoyed with you.”

Maybe she is.

Maybe she isn’t.

Is there actual evidence that something is wrong?

Or did my brain just fill in a blank with a story?

This is a subtle shift, but an important one.

And it can be as simple as changing the language you use to describe the thought.

Instead of:

“I think she’s annoyed with me.”

Try:

“My brain is suggesting that she’s annoyed with me.”

Instead of:

“I can’t handle this.”

Try:

“My brain is telling me I can’t handle this.”

That little bit of distance gives you room to decide whether the suggestion deserves your attention, whether you want to question it, or whether you’re going to let it float on by.

Because you don’t have to believe every suggestion.

You also don’t have to fight with every suggestion.

And you definitely don’t have to obey every suggestion.

Your brain can suggest that you quit.

It can suggest that you aren’t good enough.

It can suggest that everyone is judging you.

It can suggest that you stay on the couch.

Sometimes those suggestions will be worth listening to.

Sometimes they’ll be worth questioning.

And sometimes you can simply say:

“Thanks for the suggestion.”

And move on.

Your brain makes suggestions.

YOU make decisions.