The Best Birthday Gift I've Ever Received
"I wish I could tell my younger self that she was always more than a body. She always had more to offer the world than weight loss and flat abs. So much more." — Megan Jayne Crabbe
"I'm going to get into the best shape of my life for my 40th birthday." I'm not really sure when I started having this thought... Probably sometime in my early 30's. In the beginning it felt like a source of motivation, Something to "work towards", A way to "prove myself". But as the years went on, it began to feel suffocating... I'm still not there, Get your sh*t together, Time is running out. Welp, I'm turning 40 in less than a week...
...and I'm still not in the best shape of my life (whatever that even means).
And, I'm not even a little bit sad about that. Now, you might be thinking, Aren't you just encouraging people to give up on their goals?...To not go after what they want? But here's the thing, "Getting into the best shape of my life for my 40th birthday" was never the thing that I really wanted. It was a goal that sounded inspiring, like a thing I should go after. And...it served as a nice way of avoiding the thing that I DID want. Which was to stop caring so much about what other people thought about my body. To stop feeling like I needed a 6 pack to win the approval of others, To stop chasing after that approval entirely, And instead to start giving it to myself, UNCONDITIONALLY. Well, Happy Birthday to me, because I got what I wanted. 🥳 And let me tell you, it's the best gift I've ever received. To be clear, I'm not saying that I don't care about my physical health, or that I don't see value in pursuing fitness goals. 👉 It's how I relate to those goals and what drives my behaviors that has shifted. My old way of thinking looked a little something like, "I need to do this exercise and eat/not eat these foods so that I can have an attractive body and THEN...people will take me seriously, I'll find a loving partner, I'll get more 'likes', etc, etc." Ultimately my healthy behaviors weren't actually about health...they were about getting other people to like me. And now, my way of thinking looks more like this,
"How LUCKY am I to have this fully able body! Let me take care of it so that I can have the energy and mental clarity to be a great coach, go hiking with my husband, play tug of war with miss Bellita and continue to do all of the things that I love."
My healthy behaviors no longer come from a place of approval seeking, but rather from a place of gratitude and self-love.
And THAT is a powerful shift. One that I want so badly for every woman in this world to experience. So much so that writing this brings tears to my eyes (#imacryer). I know it's my birthday and all, but I don't want any gifts from you.
What I want is for you to give the gift of love and gratitude for your body to yourself.
I want you to examine the "should" goals that you've been holding onto for YEARS, And to question the thoughts that tell you that, When you hit that weight, or fit in those jeans or have that 6-pack, THEN and only THEN, Will you finally be able to have the life that you want. Listen, I've been there, done that...and don't recommend. 👎 However, there is ONE truth in the old thought patterns I had, which is:
Time IS running out.
None of us are guaranteed tomorrow. I'm grateful that I get to turn 40. But I'm even more grateful that I'm in a place where I love and accept myself TODAY...rather than waiting until I'm "perfect" tomorrow. I'm taking a little birthday vacay, so I'll "see you" in two weeks. But if you want some help at getting to this place yourself, you can apply for coaching HERE.
