Stop Eating Out of the Mental Trash Can

For a few years when I lived in New York City, I spent almost every Tuesday morning at a Buddhist meditation center.

I’m not Buddhist, but I’ve always appreciated Buddhist philosophy and the way it encourages us to explore our own minds.

And I especially loved the teacher who led the Tuesday morning sessions.

His name was Kadam Morton, and he had a way of using stories, analogies, and humor to explain what was happening inside our minds that just clicked for me.

Each session followed roughly the same format.

We’d start with a brief welcome, meditate for about 20 minutes, listen to a Dharma talk, and then finish with another short meditation.

And there’s one analogy from a Dharma talk that I still think about YEARS later.

Imagine walking into a huge buffet.

There is an entire room filled with delicious food.

Anything and everything you could possibly want.

And instead of filling your plate with any of it...

You walk over to the trash can.

You reach inside and start eating.

And apparently you LOVE it.

“Mmmm. This half-eaten garbage is DELICIOUS.”

So you go back for seconds.

Then thirds.

Meanwhile, there’s an entire buffet sitting behind you.

It sounds ridiculous when we’re talking about food.

And yet we do the mental equivalent ALL THE TIME.

We replay something embarrassing we did five years ago.

We pick apart everything we think is wrong with our bodies.

We go over a mistake for the 57th time, even though we’ve already learned everything useful from it.

We worry about all the terrible things that could happen in a situation we can’t control.

We rehearse the same criticisms of ourselves again and again.

These are our trash-can thoughts.

And the problem isn’t necessarily that one of these thoughts popped into your head.

You don’t have complete control over what your brain serves up.

The problem is that we keep going back for another helping.

And another.

And another.

So how do you stop eating out of the mental trash can?

First, you have to notice when you’re doing it.

And this is where it’s important to label the PATTERN instead of labeling yourself.

Because if you catch yourself rummaging around in there again and think:

“God, what is wrong with me?”

Congratulations.

You just found another garbage thought to snack on. 😂

Instead, try:

“Oh. I’m back in the trash can.”

That’s it.

You’re simply naming what your mind is doing WITHOUT making what your mind is doing mean something about who you are.

“Welp. Here I am again, like a little raccoon rummaging through my mental garbage.”

But noticing the trash can is only part of the practice.

You also have to remember that there’s an entire BUFFET behind you.

And no, the buffet isn’t toxic positivity.

It’s not forcing yourself to think:

“Everything happens for a reason!”

“I’m AMAZING!”

“Good vibes only!”

🤮

It’s recognizing that the garbage thought is ONE possible place to put your attention.

It’s not the only one.

Instead of:

“I always screw this up.”

You could ask:

“What can I learn from what happened?”

Instead of:

“My body looks terrible.”

Maybe:

“What does my body need from me today?”

Instead of spending another hour worrying about something you can’t control:

“What IS within my control right now?”

And sometimes the buffet isn’t another thought at all.

Maybe you redirect your attention to the work in front of you.

Or call a friend.

Go outside.

Play with your dog.

Make dinner.

Read a book.

The buffet is everything else your mind could be consuming right now.

So the practice is pretty simple:

Notice when you're eating out of the trash can.

Name the pattern.

Remember the buffet behind you.

Redirect your attention.

And because thoughts are sticky little bastards, five minutes later you might discover that you’re elbow-deep in the garbage again.

That's okay!

“Oh look. I'm in the trash can.”

Turn around again.

That’s the practice.

You don’t need to prevent every garbage thought from showing up.

You need to get better at recognizing when you’re feeding yourself one and remembering that you have other things you can choose to consume.

So I’ll leave you with two questions this week:

What trash-can thought have you been going back for seconds (or thirds...or 57ths) on lately?

And what’s available at the buffet instead?