How to Love Yourself Better

How to Love Yourself Better

February 22, 20233 min read

"'The most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself." — Steve Maraboli


Happy belated Valentine's Day! 💝

Now, you might see it as nothing but a "Hallmark Holiday", but I think that being given a nudge to express appreciation for the people we love isn't a bad thing.

And, that nudge can also bring awareness to relationships that are in need of a little more attention.

In the 5 Love Languages, Gary Chapman identifies the five ways in which we can give and receive love.

Those 5 "Love Languages" Are:

#1: Words of affirmation

#2: Acts of service

#3: Gifts

#4: Quality time

#5: Physical touch

All relationships can benefit from periodically checking in on how well each party is expressing the other's love language(s),

But today I encourage you to check in on the relationship you have with yourself.

Think about how you treat yourself on a daily basis.

If a significant other were to treat you the way you treat yourself, would you feel loved, honored and respected?

If you are like many of the women I work with, the relationship you have with yourself is the most challenging one you've ever been in.

And you may have gotten so used to being your own worst enemy that the thought of becoming an ally can feel pretty impossible.

But it CAN happen, by taking small steps each day...just like with any other change.

And just like it's helpful to have baseline stats if you are trying to lose weight, or a food journal if you are trying to eat healthier,

Assessing where you are at right now in regards to the health of the relationship you have with yourself can help guide you in choosing the first steps you can take towards improving that relationship.

So...let's do a little "(Self) Love Audit".

In the 5 categories below, rate yourself on a scale from 1-5 (5 being the highest) for how well you are expressing that "Love Language" towards yourself right now.

Words of Affirmation = Using Self-Loving Language

Do you speak to yourself with loving and kind words?

Or

Do you beat yourself up with negative self-talk?

Acts of Service = Showing Up for Yourself

Do you take care of yourself in ways that demonstrate your worth, regularly and without guilt?

Or

Do you often prioritize others’ needs and put yourself last?

Gifts = Being Generous with Yourself

Do you intentionally gift yourself things that will bring more joy, ease or depth to your life?

Or

Do you feel shame or guilt when you buy something nice for yourself? Do you feel selfish for wanting nice things?

Quality Time = Taking Time for Yourself

Do you protect your time? Do you keep healthy boundaries and prioritize rest?

Or

Do you often overcommit and find yourself feeling exhausted and burnt out?

Physical Touch = Being Kind to Your Body

Do you nurture, honor and take care of your body?

Or

Do you pick it apart, deny it the healthy food and movement it needs or push it beyond its capabilities?

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