How to Identify the Real Problem Behind Inconsistent Habits

One thing I've noticed after nearly 20 years of coaching women is that many of them believe there are only two options when they don't follow through on a healthy habit.

Option #1:

Hold yourself accountable.

Option #2:

Make excuses.

So when I ask questions like...

"What got in the way?"

"What was happening that day?"

"What were you feeling in that moment?"

Many women immediately stop me.

"I know. I know."

"I'm just making excuses."

But understanding why you didn't follow through isn't the same as making excuses.

Those are two completely different things.

Let's say you planned to work out after work.

Then you get home exhausted, order takeout, collapse on the couch, and before you know it, two hours have gone by.

It's easy to say to yourself...

"I'm just too tired now."

Most women would hear that and immediately think,

"I need to stop making excuses."

Then they'd criticize themselves, promise to try harder tomorrow, and move on.

But what if, instead of ending the conversation there, you got curious enough to ask one more question?

"Why am I so tired?"

Was it because...

You had back-to-back meetings all day?

You skipped lunch?

You spent an hour sitting in traffic?

Your brain was making decisions for ten straight hours before you even walked through the front door?

That WHY isn't an excuse, it's information.

And that information changes everything.

Because maybe the excuse that you're "too tired" to work out in the evenings is just what's showing up on the surface.

Maybe the real problem is something like...

Going seven hours without eating.

Expecting yourself to do your hardest workout after one of the most mentally demanding days of your week.

Or not having a plan for the days when your energy is low.

Those explanations point you toward solutions.

While surface-level excuses keep you from identifying the real problem.

That's why so many women get this backwards.

They say, "I'm too tired," and then chastise themselves for making excuses.

When really, hearing yourself make an excuse is your cue to get curious.

It's an opportunity to dig one level deeper and ask why.

Because that's how you gather the information you need to solve the real problem.

So the next time you catch yourself thinking,

"Stop making excuses..."

Pause and ask yourself:

What's the explanation for why this didn't go as planned?

And what is that explanation teaching me about what might need to change?

You may discover that what you've been calling an excuse,

Is actually your cue to get curious about what's happening beneath the surface.